Becoming a Thankful Mom

by Amanda on November 21, 2011

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The following post is from Amanda of OhAmanda.com and Impress Your Kids:

source: william c hutton jr

Every November moms all over the place start thinking of creative ways to help their kids understand what “thankful” means. I’ve seen Thankful Trees, Thankful Turkeys, and Thankful Jars.

This year, we did the old-fashioned-write-with-a-marker-on-a-piece-of-construction-paper. It’s not pretty, but the kids scramble to write a word of thankfulness on that yellow paper. They’ve written everything from God to robots. (And yes, Mommy finally made the list yesterday!)

As we discuss the things we’re thankful for — a warm house, good food, a closet full of clothes and my family — I’ve turned contemplative.

The things I’m most thankful for are also the things I tend to complain about.

I’m thankful for my warm house but oh, do I really have to sweep the floors again? And that squeaky door is getting on my last nerve!!

I’m thankful for good food but seriously, do I have to cook three meals a day? And do the dishes afterward, too?

I’m thankful for my closet full of clothes but will the laundry ever be done?!

I’m thankful for my family but trying to figure out when Thanksgiving dinner will be and who’s bringing what dish is about to drive me crazy!

But the one that really gets me is this:

I’m thankful for my children, but they are interrupting me on the computer, messing up my clean floors, whining at me, shouting at each other and won’t even let me take a shower alone!

Thankful Versus Bitter

How can I tell my children to be thankful for the little things when I go from a thankful loving heart to a hard bitter heart in .002 seconds?

This is something Ann Voskamp talks about in her book, One Thousand Gifts.  The whole book is about thanksgiving, or rather giving thanks. Specifically, she talks about how giving thanks changes the self–and then others around you. After reading the book, I saw this happen in my own life.

My daughter had been whining, complaining and pouting about doing the dishes. I had already had it out with her about another chore earlier. And when those stomps and whines started about the dishwasher, I couldn’t take it. I wanted to send her to her room with a vengeance. Instead, somehow, I stopped and said to myself, “Thank you, God, for her little white face.” She’s very pale and that paleness is somehow adorable to me.

And when I said those few words, I felt a release on the inside of me. I remembered that my daughter and my role as mother was more important than the dishes. I brought her to me, we talked about obedience and the dishes. We even prayed together and what do you know? She walked right over to the dishwasher without an ounce of a bad attitude and finished her chore!

Practicing Thankfulness

Ann Voskamp writes, “A parent must always self-parent first, self-preach before child-teach, because who can bring peace unless they’ve held their own peace?”. When our kids get under our skin like only they can, our first response should be not the bitter heart, the heavy sighs and the loud shouts, it should be: giving thanks.  When you do this, you’ll feel a peace inside of you which can then be transferred to your children. That’s what I felt that day at the dishwasher. I stopped and self-parented. I held my own peace in order to bring peace to my daughter.

My encouragement for you this Thanksgiving season is to be actively thankful about the things that make you the most aggravated. When your temperature rises during the craziest points of this week, stop and give thanks. See how peace invades you and how easily it will be to pass onto your children!

What aggravating things can you give thanks for today?

Amanda is a stay-at-home mom of two who blogs at OhAmanda.com and Impress Your Kids. In her former life, Amanda was a Children’s Pastor — overseeing, organizing and developing ministry for kids in nursery through middle school, but now that she is a mom, her “skills” are used up on her kids!

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  • http://blog.ashleypichea.com Ashley Pichea

    I love November mainly for this very reason – for the focus on GIVING THANKS. There are definitely days and times when giving thanks is difficult, but God has been teaching me to give thanks in ALL things this month {especially my kids, even when they’re aggravating me} – similar to your example!

    Thanks for sharing this post!!

    • http://impressyourkids.com ohamanda {impress your kids}

      Me, too! I love Nov/Dec for the same reason—the world is even focusing on God!

  • http://impressyourkids.org lmilla

    I so needed this today… my day fell apart early because of the ”aggravation” of my children – I could not hold myself together.  We’ve reset our day, and I will keep this in mind as we go forward – I definitely need to self parent before I parent my own kids!

    • http://impressyourkids.com ohamanda {impress your kids}

      I need this every day…every minute! I need a constant reminder somewhere to GIVE THANKS for the most important things.

  • Guest

    With 7 children, 18 grandchildren, and 14 great-grands, I’ve loads to be thankful for!!!! Specially, that the Lord Jesus is my Savior and Friend, and so far He has granted me a healthy body.

  • http://kimberlys-cup.blogspot.com/ Kimberlyscup

    I wrote out this quote when I saw it this weekend.  It is hanging up in the kitchen where I can see it all the time.
    “Stop regarding all the unpleasant things as interruptions in one’s own or real life.  The truth is, of course, that what one regards as interruptions are precisely one’s life.” –CS Lewis

    • http://lifeyourway.net Mandi @ Life…Your Way

      Profound. Thanks for sharing!

  • stbmdm

    oh, is this so hard for me, this giving thanks. my heart completely understood the grumbling about things i am simultaneously (half-heartedly) thankful for. the complaining heart is winning out! the eyes of my heart are SO hard to train and i find i am not self-parenting well at all. and it makes me laugh that i wonder why i am not seeing the fruit i would like to in my children. oh dear. practice, diligent practice of giving thanks. i appreciate the in-the-moment story of you and your daughter…the grace-filled thankful approach. just thank you for sharing. (~weak grin~)

  • http://golfdiscountsuperstore.net/ Nicole_gamble

    Interesting post, I am so glad that I have visited your site. Such a wonderful time reading this.

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  • http://livingthebalancedlife.com Bernice Wood

    Love this: 
     “A parent must always self-parent first, self-preach before child-teach, because who can bring peace unless they’ve held their own peace?”.
    And you are so right Amanda, seems those we love the most and are most thankful for can drive us the batty-est! 
    Great post!
    Bernice
    Truly Grateful

  • http://www.williamchuttonjr.com William C Hutton

    Thanks for using my photo. I appreciate the attribution.

    Wishing you and yours a wonderful Thanksgiving,

    William Hutton

    • http://lifeyourway.net Mandi @ Life…Your Way

      Thanks for making it available, William — we appreciate it!

  • Anonymous

    A perfect word for today, Amanda. Bravo, Friend!

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  • Anonymous

    Wonderful post!  It is so true that we can only teach what we first model because that is what we really teach.

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