Mothering Through The Storm

by Amanda on July 27, 2011

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The following post is from Amanda of OhAmanda.com and Impress Your Kids:

personal rainbow

source: moionet

The lightning struck their kitchen. The refrigerator exploded. The faucets and lightbulbs melted. The food, scattered papers, and personal belongings were petrified.

Then the fire began — it spread via the ceiling and attic, pushing flames and smoke through the entire house. And just like that my brother and his family lost everything.

But the worst part is my mom watched it all.

She saw my dad run up to the front door and test the doorknob. When it was too hot to touch he began banging on the door and yelling my brother’s name. My mom stood there imagining her son, her youngest, inside suffocated by smoke. Burning to death.

She became completely hysterical.

And that’s when she called me. I heard her animal-like scream on the phone. I couldn’t understand her words. But I knew something, something horrible was happening.

I left my family in the blink of an eye and drove to my brother’s house in a flash. On the way I got a hold of my brother on the phone and realized he was safe. He and his wife had left the house a mere 40 minutes before the lightning struck.

Their street was blocked with firetrucks, but as I ran towards their house my mom saw me coming and ran to me. She and I were both crying. Crying for the loss that had taken place and the loss that almost altered our life.

Once my brother and his wife arrived my mom was finally at rest. But that night we all had nightmares. Hers about the fire, her son, and his life. Me? About my mom’s voice.

As a mother, your worst nightmare is to have your kids leave this world before you. To watch it happen (or think you’re watching it happen) is even worse.

When my mom was watching all this she said she needed someone to understand the severity of it — that her son was dying! She needed someone to break the door down or bring in a helicopter or something! She felt the police and other neighbors who were there couldn’t understand.

She said she called me because she knew I would understand.

Once we were all back together staring at the ruins of my brother’s house I decided I would be my brother’s gatekeeper. No one would donate, call or help my brother without going through me first. I didn’t want them dealing with bags of donated clothes when they needed to break the news to their daughter that she lost her home.

Soon my brother, sister-in-law and niece moved in with me and my family. I watched my niece during the day and cooked dinner for all of us at night.

And that’s when I realized…

Being a mother also means being a daughter and a sister.

My children need to see me rushing out the door at a moment’s notice to comfort my own mother. They need to see me open our house and make it home for my brother. My children need to understand that my job isn’t just to take care of them and be the fairy-godmother of their little world.

Motherhood is not my only role.

It becomes the most overwhelming, the most urgent and will ultimately be my most long-reaching role. But it’s not my only one. I want my children to see me as a full woman. Loving, encouraging, and honoring my immediate family so they will know how to do the same for theirs.

“A friend loves at all times. A brother [sister, daughter] is born for adversity.” Proverbs 17:17

Do your children see you as a daughter? Sister? Friend? Neighbor?

Amanda is a stay-at-home mom of two who blogs at OhAmanda.com and Impress Your Kids. In her former life, Amanda was a Children’s Pastor — overseeing, organizing and developing ministry for kids in nursery through middle school, but now that she is a mom, her “skills” are used up on her kids!

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  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1183695696 Suzy Sholar

    This is a phenomenal story! The head-to-toe shivers just won’t stop.  Thank you for sharing your insight about being there for your loved ones and being a complete woman for your children!

    • http://impressyourkids.com ohamanda {impress your kids}

      Thank you! It was definitely a shiver- moment for us as well! ;)

  • http://alifeinbalance.net Barb @ A Life in Balance

    Thank you for sharing this. I have goosebumps reading it, and I hope I remember when it’s my turn to help someone without counting the cost.

    • http://impressyourkids.com ohamanda {impress your kids}

      I know it’s trite, but it was just what I had to do. And you’ll know when you have to do it as well! Thank you for the comment!

  • http://twitter.com/granolacatholic Lisa Greenwood

    I am on the verge of tears reading this. I am so glad you live close to your family and can be there for them, and that your children can see you be there for them. You are a living example to your children. 

    • http://impressyourkids.com ohamanda {impress your kids}

      Thank you. It was a terrible terrible experience. But like my brother said, “I didn’t know my faith needed to grow. But it did.” I felt the same way, we didn’t know we needed to be closer, to show more love, but we did. And it made us grow.

  • http://www.fieldstonehilldesign.com {darlene}

    this ministered to me today. Thank you.

    • http://impressyourkids.com ohamanda {impress your kids}

      Thank YOU, Darlene. I love to hear how words travel and speak!

  • Irene Jackson

    I love this message! My motto has always been… M.O.M = Making Our Memories. Doing our job as a good Mom, (sister, daughter, friend, etc) helps to raise happy children whom we could only hope, grow up to have learned from our example and that we have made a difference in their lives.

    • http://impressyourkids.com ohamanda {impress your kids}

      M.O.M! I love it!

  • Myahstjohn

    love this!  Thank you  :)   It is a good reminder for me since I throw myself in 150% to my immediate family.

    • http://impressyourkids.com ohamanda {impress your kids}

      Me, too! There’s nothing wrong with it. It’s just a good side to make sure our kids see!

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  • Anonymous

    I can’t imagine how scared your mom as in that moment. I never really thought about it from this perspective. I think mine just see me as mom right now. 

    • http://impressyourkids.com ohamanda {impress your kids}

      I know. It always shocks me when my kids are shocked at some familial connection. “I didn’t know Grandmama had SISTERS?!!” :)

  • http://houseofhills.org Kathy @ HouseofHills

    Okay – tears flowing at work.
    Amazing post Amanda. Truly art with words. Thank you for sharing with us.

    • http://impressyourkids.com ohamanda {impress your kids}

      Kathy, you are so kind. When something rocks you so much, you have lots of words for it.

  • http://parentingmiracles.net JessieLeigh

    Amazing words… so much to think about… and the tears just pour down my face as I think of your mom, and also His mom, of Mary, having no choice but to watch her child die.  Thanks for your words and heart, Amanda.

    • http://impressyourkids.com ohamanda {impress your kids}

      Wow. What a great connection. If you could have seen my mom. It was like nothing I’ve ever seen before. Even now it makes me feel ICK on the inside. Thanks for the great thoughts!

  • Lori Sica

    What a beautiful post. Your words really bring to life the role of a mother as a strong woman, bothinside and outside of her home.most of us struggle with balance in so many areas of our lives. I love how you found beauty in the ashes of this traumatic time. I think that is the messge God has for us all the time. Thank you for writing this and sharing your strength.

    • http://impressyourkids.com ohamanda {impress your kids}

      It was beauty for ashes, for sure. I felt like my family received a double portion of what they lost! Thank you for your thoughtful comments! :)

  • ChristiS

    Wow, Amanda….so powerful! Something I’ve never thought about, but that I totally GET! Thank you for sharing this!! Praying for you all!!

    • http://impressyourkids.com ohamanda {impress your kids}

      Thank you, Christi!

  • Anonymous

    Amanda… thank you so much for posting this..  you have no idea.  One of my dear friends had the same thing happen to her and her family when lightning struck their home on July 10th.  Her family was all home and in inside the house.  Praise God they all got out safely, but they stood and watched as their home became engulfed in flames.  They are in the process of taking the next few steps, but my heart has been forever changed as I watch them walk this road.  I love your words:”Motherhood is not my only role.
    It becomes the most overwhelming, the most urgent and will ultimately be my most long-reaching role. But it’s not my only one. I want my children to see me as a full woman. Loving, encouraging, and honoring my immediate family so they will know how to do the same for theirs.”  Thanks girl… you have been a blessing.

    • http://impressyourkids.com ohamanda {impress your kids}

      I’m so sorry about your friends. You hear about people’s homes burning down but it is seriously so much worse than I ever imagined! Thank you for your sweet words. :)

  • Brandi

    Powerful stuff, Amanda.  I spend a lot of time trying to be a good mom for my children. It’s so easy to forget that they need to see me be a good sibling, child, employee, and friend.  I’ve never even thought about it that way.  You’ve inspired me today. Thank you!

    • http://impressyourkids.com ohamanda {impress your kids}

      Love you, Brandi! You always encourage me. :)

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  • http://twitter.com/VA_Grown Jamie Oliver

    What a great truth! Thank you for sharing something that must have been so difficult for you and your family. There’s so much to learn here.

  • http://twitter.com/VA_Grown Jamie Oliver

    What a great truth! Thank you for sharing something that must have been so difficult for you and your family. There’s so much to learn here.

    • http://impressyourkids.com ohamanda {impress your kids}

      We definitely learned a lot. My brother said, “I didn’t know my faith needed to grow. But it did.” It was definitely a learning place. Thank you.
      a

  • http://www.thegypsymama.com thegypsymama

    i hardly have words….

    • http://impressyourkids.com ohamanda {impress your kids}

      :)

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