The Whys Behind Our Decision to Homeschool

by Mandi on July 25, 2011

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homeschooling choices

our girls on our first official day as homeschoolers

I’m not sure we fit the stereotypical homeschool family mold (although we seem to be heading that way with our country living and larger family…) when it comes to our decision to homeschool, and I wanted to share some of the reasons behind why we do what we do.

To explain the whys of our decision, let me start by telling you a bit about myself.

I had the privilege of attending a Montessori school until 8th grade, and that experience played a huge part in who I am today. I then attended a public school followed by a Christian school and finished out high school at home through the University of Nebraska’s High School Correspondence program.

Another important thing to know is that I love school. Despite the fact that worksheets and desk work are pretty much the antithesis of the Montessori philosophy, I love those things. And I loved my college classes (which were just as eclectic as my high school experience, with community college, CLEP tests, university classes and online coursework rounding out the lot). I would be a professional student if I had the time and money, and the list of degrees I would love to earn grows longer each year.

Reason #1

So I guess you could say that the number one reason I decided to homeschool (and really, it was a decision I made when I was 16 years old) was because I wanted my children to have a unique and rigorous education that challenged them and was tailored to their interests and strengths while helping them overcome their weaknesses.

Thankfully, my husband agreed, and we’ve always known we would homeschool our children.

Add to that the fact that we built a house on the lot we’d always dreamed of, which just happens to be in one of the worst counties in one of the worst states in America, educationally speaking, and our decision was sealed.

Reason #2

Then I had kids, and you know what I realized? I realized that I don’t want to send them to someone else for 6-8 hours a day. I don’t want someone else to have the privilege of teaching them new things and watching their eyes light up when they discover something new.

They’re still my babies, and I want them home with me. I’m sure I’ll have moments when that might not motivate me as much as it does now, but I also know that they’re going to graduate and leave my home soon enough as it is, and I plan to make the most of every moment with them in the meantime!

Reason #3

Which brings us to Reason #3: I want them to have time to just be kids. I think one reason kids end up overbooked these days is because they spend so much of their day at school, commuting to and from school,  and doing homework after school, and it doesn’t really leave that much time for extracurricular activities or free time.

Most experienced homeschoolers tell me that school should only take a couple of hours in these early years, which leaves plenty of time to just, you know, play.

Reason #4

If you’re expecting one of my reasons to be that I want to shelter my kids from that evils of this world and from non-Christian influences, I’m afraid I’m about to disappoint you. Our fourth reason for homeschooling is actually the exact opposite of that. I want to expose them to the real world and other belief systems. I want them to question and wrestle with their faith and deal with the hard questions.

I just want to be there with them along the way to answer their questions, pray with and for them and use every opportunity I can to tackle those hard issues together!

So that, in a nutshell (depending on your definition of a nutshell, I suppose), sums up the reasons behind our decision to homeschool.

Are you a homeschooler? I’d love to hear your reasons for homeschooling (and it really is okay if you disagree with any of mine!). And if you’ve consciously chosen not to homeschool, I’d love to hear your reasons too. Just remember please be respectful of other people’s decisions and their right to choose what they believe is best for their family!

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  • Jgabriel

    Great post!  I really love reading the ‘why’ of people’s choices!  I once had grandiose ideas of homeschooling – being cocky enough to think that I could be better than the schools because I’d be more involved and active than desk learning – we’d go and find out how the post office system works and we’d make a worm farm to see how they really live and we’d spend rainy days reading books from great writers, I’d let them crack the eggs, paint the front door and change the oil with dad etc etc etc.  but then I got depression; a depression that has kicked my butt and still lingers today. (10 years after it began)  Now the person who I am doesn’t have the patience for silliness while learning, or thinking of new ways to teach if they don’t understand it the first time, and is too tired many days to be a housewife, let alone an active mother taking them happily out into the world.
    My boys are now 9.5, 6 and 4 and the fantasy is all but squashed.  Although SO happy for you,  I feel sad for myself and our little family.  I had to make the choice – do I homeschool, and do a sucky job of it, just to feel like I was ‘that mom’ who could/loved homeschooling, or do I give them the best shot at the alternative – public school.  They go to school and are learning – and that is the best I can give them, I guess.

    • http://yourway.net Mandi @ Life…Your Way

      I’m sorry that you’ve been dealing with depression for all those years — I truly can’t imagine.

      Kudos to you for doing what’s best for your family…that’s what really matters!

  • Wanibug

    This is such a great post!  I went to a private Catholic school K-3rd but struggled with dyslexia.  School was very difficult for me and my mom ended up spending every evening doing homework with me.  She decided if she was going to spend all that time on homework with me she may as well teach me at home.  And she did.  And all four of my younger siblings (my brother is a junior in HS).  After my mom took me out of school and began home educating me I overcame my dyslexia and became an avid reader because I was given the personal attention I needed.  I am so thankful that my mom was willing to make the sacrifices necessary to give me the education I needed.
    I am now homeschooling my oldest (first grade).  It is a whole new experience being on the mom/teacher side of homeschooling.  But I am looking forward to exploring the world through my son’s eyes as he soaks up every bit of knowledge that is sent his way.  He is an eager learner and very smart.  He just turned six this month and this summer he has already read most of the Magic Treehouse series of books (among others).  He keeps me on my toes thats for sure!
    Anyway, thanks for sharing your reasons for homeschooling.  Someday your kids will thank you!

    • http://yourway.net Mandi @ Life…Your Way

      Very cool — I love to meet other adults who have been homeschooled!

      Good luck to you as you continue with your son!

  • Ellen S

    Great post. We are trying to make the homeschool decision for my two girls- ages 5 & 10. My eldest has been attending Christian school since Pre-K. However, I’m finding such a pull to homeschool so that their education is tailored to them. Your reasons are very much in line with what we’ve been thinking. My big concerns revolve around social interaction, but I’m becoming less concerned about it the more I think about it.

    • http://yourway.net Mandi @ Life…Your Way

      I think finding a community is an important part of addressing this. I love that as a family we have family relationships where we know the whole family!

  • http://joyceandnorm.wordpress.com Joyce and Norm

    Great post!

  • Christy

    We have very similar reasons for homeschooling, though we are taking it one year and one child at a time. as a former teacher (at a Monetessori school no less! and a private christian school), one of the things I have so appreciated about homeschooling is how efficient it is. I can tailor everything to each of my children…if one is falling behind in spelling, we can dedicate more time there, for example; and conversely, if one is ahead in math, we can move ahead. When I had 20-25 students, I could only tailor so much–remedial with the kids who were behind, extra work for those advanced, but you can’t slow down or speed up really. I know some of my students just didn’t learn certain concepts. Of course many students do just fine, not saying that. Just saying how I love that I am able to ensure my children are truly learning each topic we cover. It’s wonderful! I also think a traditional classroom setting is not geared toward little boys in particular…they have so much energy. I love how I can send my son out to play and burn off some of that energy before we sit down to learn. Helps him focus and engage. So much of the school day is simply wasted time…bathroom breaks, switches between class, getting to/from, etc. We are able to tackle school and be done with A LOT of learning in just a few short hours. Again, love that efficiency! We are able to do more in our days than just school. Of course there are great things about school too, so it’s a trade off. But right now, we think the benefits for our kids outweigh what they are missing from traditional school. In a few years, who knows, maybe we will decide otherwise, but for right now we love homeschooling and our kids are thriving and learning and loving to learn.

    • http://yourway.net Mandi @ Life…Your Way

      “I love how I can send my son out to play and burn off some of that energy before we sit down to learn.”

      So, so true. Since I have whiny girls, I love that I can send them up to their rooms to readjust their attitudes before we sit down to learn, LOL!

      One of the families that I most admire and look up to homeschools until high school and then their kids go to public school, and their oldest two girls are THRIVING. We’re pretty committed to homeschooling all the way through, but I think they’re a wonderful example of figuring out what’s best for your family!

  • http://clarkefamilyfun.blogspot.com Brittany

    LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS POST!!!

    We actually put Corinne in Montessori for a few months this summer…she didn’t do so well. Nothing against the school though, it’s just Corinne (actually she’s showing severe behavioral issues that are similar to ADHD or Asperger’s). It was just one more reason for me to understand why I choose to homeschool. Each kid is soooo different. And who knows my kid better than I do? For us (in addition to agreeing with your reasons) it’s about meeting our children where they are and helping them along the way.

    • http://yourway.net Mandi @ Life…Your Way

      Aww, I’m sorry you’re walking through that with her right now!

      To use another example from a one-room school house, what I love about that teaching style is that children advanced as they were ready. There were no grade placements or standardized tests, just rows of seats, and children would advance to the next row when they were ready — not before, not after.

  • Stacia

    I agree with the reasoning behind most of what you wrote in your post, but I don’t homeschool my children, and I don’t think I would even if I was able to. (I’m a single mom so there wouldn’t be any income to speak of for our family if I didn’t go off to work every day!)

    But that aside, I made different choices to address my desire for my kids to have schooling tailored to what they’re ready for (both in terms of not being ready yet and being ready for MUCH more), to streamline the “academic” part of learning, and to let them have more time for play (hugely important, not just for very young learners, IMO). My kids attend a private school with very small class sizes until around age 11-12, and then attend a progressive middle/high school where class sizes are even smaller and the experience is even more tailored to their passions, needs, and understanding.

    One thing I especially love about the middle/high school especially is how my kids get to learn from OTHER people who also love and cherish them, value their opinions, encourage the best from and for them, and provide all kinds of varied experience, wisdom, etc. that I couldn’t possibly provide on my own. I love that they have developed close, trusting relationships with these other adults, that they have other people besides Mom (whom they know loves them, but in that “of course” kind of way :D ) with whom they can share fears and ask opinions – and they even listen to them, when they’re busy rebelling against many things I say or do, because they need to (developmentally) create some distance.

    I have a wonderful relationship with my older boys, but I’m also so very grateful that they have close relationships with the staff at their school for a different kind of support that I think is amazing and wonderful for them as they branch out into the world. Of course I’d love to have them all to myself. But it’s even better to be sharing them with the world, having them share their gifts and be appreciated for it, to learn and grow within a larger community of learners, feeling supported, facing challenges, gaining knowledge that doesn’t come served up on a multiple choice test or with single “right/wrong” answers.

    They come home in the evenings filled up with all kinds of interesting discussions, observations, experiences, things to share and are eager to go back the next day. They develop close friendships with their peers and with the staff members. It’s just lots of goodness, for them and for me. So that’s why I’m glad I’m not homeschooling them. This has some elements of that, but is a richer, more diverse, and (for our family :-) healthier experience for them.

    That said – it’s not cheap! But I can’t imagine a better investment for our family.

    Thanks for your post, and for the opportunity to share how things are for my family. :-)

    • http://yourway.net Mandi @ Life…Your Way

      Hi Stacia — I think you’ve talked about your boys’ school before, and I really find it fascinating! I do think that’s an incredible opportunity, and I can see why it’s the one you’ve chosen for your family!

    • http://yourway.net Mandi @ Life…Your Way

      Hi Stacia — I think you’ve talked about your boys’ school before, and I really find it fascinating! I do think that’s an incredible opportunity, and I can see why it’s the one you’ve chosen for your family!

  • Lindsey

    I have made a conscious decision to not homeschool my kids. One of those reasons is I’m not sure I can do it justice. I’m a public school teacher myself (6th and 7th grades, math & science), so I definitely know the “evils” of public school. But I also have a hard time believing that homeschooling parents know enough to teach their kids well enough.

    Teachers who teach 1st through 3rd grades go to four years of university training that includes specific training in early childhood development. And teachers like myself who love the middle school years (the hardest years!) have a passion for those ages that is honestly not common among teachers or parents. I wonder if parents who keep their kids at home really have enough training in the subtle nuances of teaching specific subjects to do it justice. The argument is that parents know their kids better, and I certainly agree with that. But teaching a kid to read is so much more than knowing your kids, or helping them understand letters, sounds, and words. Doing it justice means teaching kids how to read in a certain order and knowing the reasons WHY to teach it in that order. Same with math–order of operations is there for a reason and teaching it well means really knowing it yourself, not having your child learn it from a workbook.

    I suppose that in order for parents to do it  right, they’d really need to train themselves and continually be enhancing their own understanding of teaching. I think too many parents just do worksheets, workbooks, buy a program, follow a blog and think they’re doing it well. I’m skeptical.

    HOWEVER, I think all parents who consciously try to do what’s best for their children are the kind of parents I want to associate with. Even if we don’t agree, I think having a strong, researched, gut belief about education (or cloth diapering, or sleep strategies, etc) is something I can respect.

    • http://notenoughdevotion.blogspot.com Gretchen

      “But I also have a hard time believing that homeschooling parents know enough to teach their kids well enough. ”
      This is the biggest concern I have with homeschooling!  As a high school English teacher, I know that I don’t know everything about my subject, let alone all of the others.  How can one person be expected to cover all of that material?

      But I did think that the original post did a great job of outlining your reasons for homeschooling, which I can completely respect and relate to.  I like getting to hear your thoughts on it.

      • http://yourway.net Mandi @ Life…Your Way

        I’m just wondering if you have seen the statistics on homeschooler’s test results, college placement tests, etc? In general, homeschoolers score better, even when their parents only have a high school diploma, which would suggest that their parents DO know enough and that mastering a subject is not an important criteria for teaching.

        The idea isn’t that we know everything there is to know but that we know how to learn, how to help our kids learn and when to turn to outside resources for help.

        “I suppose that in order for parents to do it  right, they’d really need
        to train themselves and continually be enhancing their own understanding
        of teaching.”

        That pretty much sums up our approach completely!

        I truly appreciate the respectful way that both of you presented your opinions, but I do think this is one of the most common misconceptions about homeschooling!

        • http://yourway.net Mandi @ Life…Your Way

          Sorry, I thought of one other thing.

          I’m fascinated lately by the statistics about one room school houses. Many, many writers and researchers agree that the U.S. had the highest rate of literacy during the one-room school house era (although I haven’t yet found a source document). During that time, one teacher taught all of the subjects, and while that obviously didn’t include AP Chemistry, those students came out ready and able to learn virtually anything because they’d been given the tools for learning. That’s what we aim to give our children!

  • http://www.itsstilllifedotcom.wordpress.com Karen G @ It’s Still Life

    I loved reading your reasons for homeschooling.  My reasons are similar.  I especially love your reason number 4.  To me the emphasis is on “I”.  I want to expose them and be there with them as they question their faith and make it there own.  That wasn’t the reason I started to homeschool.  God actually made it clear to me that I was suppose to tackle homeschooling and that was exactly how I felt at first.  But now after 10 years of homeschooling…my oldest is going into 10th grade, my reasons have evolved.  I have loved spending time with my kids.  I have loved watching them grow and learn.  I have loved the discussions and debates we have over issues and ideas.  I have been the one to be there, not some one else and definitely not 25 other kids their same age.
    There was a person that commented that she didn’t feel that we could do “teaching” justice.  Well in my experience with many teacher friends, what they mostly learned in college was classroom management. I am not taking anything away from the wonderful profession of teaching.  But classroom management isn’t something I have to worry about.  Plus my kids have learned how to learn themselves. No I don’t know everything, but we have spent time “figuring it out”. What an invaluable tool to have for their lives.  They may not have all the answers, but they know how to find the answers.  They are wonderful young people.  What more could I ask from homeschooling.
    Karen G

    • http://yourway.net Mandi @ Life…Your Way

      “Plus my kids have learned how to learn themselves.”

      This is one of my primary goals for my kids — not to teach them everything they need to know about everything, but to show them how to learn so they can learn anything!

      Thanks so much for sharing your story!

    • http://yourway.net Mandi @ Life…Your Way

      “Plus my kids have learned how to learn themselves.”

      This is one of my primary goals for my kids — not to teach them everything they need to know about everything, but to show them how to learn so they can learn anything!

      Thanks so much for sharing your story!

  • http://www.dietriffic.com Melanie Thomassian

    I really enjoyed this article, Mandi. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on home schooling. It’s definitely something we are considering right now, too.

  • http://seemyfootprints.blogspot.com/ Klhill

    I’d love to homeschool for a few reasons but then I see all that our children are receiving at their Steiner School and I feel that I couldn’t begin to offer half of it myself, at home.
    So I offer everything I can of me and our home learning, when they are home – with the knowledge that overall I’m rapt with what they receive at school.

    I think the biggest thing about whatever form of schooling chosen for children is that it’s the right choice for that child, that family, that the children are happy and that their ‘whole self’ is learning – not just their academics.  That it’s ‘life’ learning as well as books.  As we know, children spend so many of their waking hours ‘at school’ that it must be the best we can offer them.

    I wish you many happy home schooling times, with enough challenges along the way to know you’re really learning.

    Kind Regards
    K

    • http://yourway.net Mandi @ Life…Your Way

      It sounds like a great balance to me to take advantage of the resources you have available at the Steiner school but realize there are still so many learning opportunities outside of school!

    • http://yourway.net Mandi @ Life…Your Way

      It sounds like a great balance to me to take advantage of the resources you have available at the Steiner school but realize there are still so many learning opportunities outside of school!

  • http://livingthebalancedlife.com Bernice Wood

    My kids are all graduated now! We did homeschool for 8 years and they were some of the best, yet most difficult years of our lives. One thing I want to say about one’s reasns for homeschooling is that they will probably change. I began HS when 2 child was entering middle school. She was ADD and was struggling with traditional classroom. However, as time progressed, my reasons did as well. I found that, while they did drive me batty at times, I loved being with my children and exploring new things together. Many other reasons emerged as well. I wanted to mold and shape their character, yet we also wanted to expose them to different cultures and philosphies and teach them how to think for themselves.
    Thanks for sharing!Bernice
    Don’t get distracted by the SHINY!

    • http://yourway.net Mandi @ Life…Your Way

      I love that, Bernice — I’m sure you’re right about our reasons (and goals too!) changing as they get older!

    • http://yourway.net Mandi @ Life…Your Way

      I love that, Bernice — I’m sure you’re right about our reasons (and goals too!) changing as they get older!

  • Katie

    YES! Thank you!

  • Leslie To

    Great post! I think your decision to home school your children is a completely valid! There are a lot of flaws in the education system and why trust a system that might not prepare your children in the way that you can. My mom wanted to home school me when I was younger but she couldn’t find the time to do it, especially after my parents divorced. But since we moved around so much, and the fact that I went to 5 different elementary schools, home school appeared to be the much better option, but it didn’t pan out. In retrospect, a cohesive and consistent grade school experience and education might have been better for me in the long run, but thank goodness, I caught up once I got to high school.

    L

    • http://yourway.net Mandi @ Life…Your Way

      I can only imagine how hard that was when you were younger, Leslie, especially on the heels of a divorce. I’m glad things settled down as you got older!

    • http://yourway.net Mandi @ Life…Your Way

      I can only imagine how hard that was when you were younger, Leslie, especially on the heels of a divorce. I’m glad things settled down as you got older!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=692027811 Melinda Johnson

    I just wanted to say that you did a great job in articulating why you home school.  It was clear and concise, but not preachy.  I, too, am a homeschooler and my reasons almost match yours.  So, thanks for talking about it!

    • http://yourway.net Mandi @ Life…Your Way

      Thanks, Melinda!

    • http://yourway.net Mandi @ Life…Your Way

      Thanks, Melinda!

  • http://simpleorganic.net Nicole

    I love this Mandi. We hope to homeschool (thru a public charter school) and I share the same ideals as you. Thanks for writing them out for me. :)

  • http://simpleorganic.net Nicole

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Mandi. We are hoping to homeschool Gigi (thru a public charter school) and I share similar reasons to you!

  • http://www.lifecommaetc.com/ LifeCommaEtc

    Thank you for taking time to outline your reasoning behind homeschooling. After teaching in public schools, my husband and I both agree that homeschooling will be our first choice if at all possible. In fact, I’m over at my blog talking about our reasoning and what the ideal school system would look like this week!

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